Zimbabwe: What Magufuli Effect? You East Africans, Stopit!



Being your Mother, I thought I should remind you of a few truths which I have always known while you were busy losing your heads about developments in Tanzania.

Most of you have been celebrating some very interesting behaviour from a certain gentleman in Tanzania called John Pombe Magufuli.

He has done all sorts of very unAfrican things like cancelling independence celebrations, but some of you celebrated.

He went a step further, humiliating senior government officials by banning luxury travel overseas and condemned them to visiting rural areas where there is no possibility of doing any decent shopping.

Still, some of you celebrated. Actually, many people on the African continent over-celebrated.

We even heard some funny statements on what you were now calling The Magufuli Effect, whatever that means. Suddenly even in Ghana, the leadership was now asking Cabinet ministers to resign for making minor mistakes such as failing to use public funds in a responsible manner.

Still in Tanzania, suddenly people were beginning to talk of “a new breed of African leaders”.

I had earlier warned our brothers and sisters in Tanzania to Stopit!

Some of you were beginning to talk funny. Blah, blah, there is a new breed of African leaders. But we all know that there is one hero who is popular among all Africans. Even the former US ambassador acknowledged that there is only one Lion of Africa.

And he is our very own Supreme Leader. The Grandmaster.

Then boom! Things started happening. Reports started coming in about the alleged decision to ban miniskirts in Tanzania. There was deafening silence from everyone and yet when some of us gave similar suggestions, we were condemned by everybody, including some junior minister in South Africa.

But reports from Tanzania are now saying that is not the official position. Really? Okay, maybe.

What about reports that a weekly newspaper has been banned from publishing its print and online editions? Are the reports also untrue? Kwaaaaaa! I said it from the beginning that some of this behaviour was unpatriotic, unrevolutionary and unAfrican.

Stopit Magufuli! Some of this grandstanding may prove to be unhelpful in future.


Again, media reports are filtering through that in Kenya, the Kenyatta family has donated 2 000 hectares of their family’s 30 000 hectares of land. Goodness me! Is it because of upcoming elections? They will be left with only 28 000 miserable hectares of land.

I am not too sure that is a very wise thing to do. Next thing we will start hearing strange demands from ordinary people all over the African continent daring to demand to share land which their leaders own.

Somebody stop this madness please before it gets out of hand.

Back home

Although I was getting regular updates from home, it sure does feel good to be back.

As they say, when the cat is away, the mice will play. You all know that as a country and party, we have been facing a lot of challenges caused by all those racist inspired sanctions.

The salaries will come, don’t worry. I heard the teachers have been ordered to come back to work. Well, I will be briefed on that and certain decisions will be made.

Of course, we may have to deal with some disciplinary issues in the party to ensure there is consistent and persistent discipline.

Very important statements are going to be made by the Supreme Leader to ensure that our 2016 will, as usual, be filled with milk and honey.

After all, I am told although the bonuses are not a priority, they will come sometime this year.

For now, let us host our all-weather friends from Equatorial Guinea. They are very important luminaries on the African continent.

The Standard

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