I hoped you would boycott the swearing-in ceremony as a message to your high-handed neighbour.
I hoped you would do this for the sake of the opposition and how they are being brutalised.
Now that you decided to play, the good neighbour and went for the event, please do not forget to spray yourself with an insecticide when you return home.
The way South African Airways does to its passengers travelling from that country.
We do not want you to spread the Weevil of impunity and mediocrity to Tanzania.
You are doing fine so far and we would like you to continue doing the same.
Through you most people have seen hope again: they have seen that there are still some few good men and women around.
For you are an antidote to Afropessimism and Afro-pessimists -you are making them revise their thesis that the African is corrupt through and through and he/she is incapable of governing himself/herself.
Please take care while you are there; if you must shake hands with your host, do not forget to wear gloves.
And when he offers you any advice, ignore it with contempt for you don’t need any since you have done in five months what he has failed to do in ten years.
We are fasting and praying that you return home unpolluted.
This is because we are aware how a polluted environment is capable of polluting a saintly soul.
One more thing, Your Excellency:
Please do not congratulate the person being sworn-in.
We know you went there because you wanted to be seen as a good neighbour, and perhaps because you wanted to ensure the planned oil pipeline is not relocated to Kenya.
In other words, you went there for good neighbourliness and political expediency.
So please, do not tell him that the people of Tanzania congratulate him, because they do not.
Thank you and God bless you as you turn Tanzania around.
Do not forget the insecticide spray, please, the kind that South African Airways subjects to its passengers who are traveling from that country.
I am repeating this because it is very important.
P.S. I am sure you saw a big building constructed right in the middle of the road at a place called Bwebajja, as you drove from Entebbe to Kampala.
That is how bad things are in that country.
Not only was that building constructed on a road reserve (moreover with impunity), but it was also constructed on tax payers’ money, if you remember the Commonwealth Heads of Government meeting (CHOGM) cash bonanza that afflicted Kampala.
You have already demolished 400 houses like this building, but in this country, road reserves are for takes.
And forests like Mabira. The leader would better have sugar than a rainwater reservoir like Mabira forest.
Take care, my beloved President; bad company begets evil.
I am Your beloved admirer, Mulembe Mupyamupya, a concerned and patriotic Tanzanian, who is so proud of your leadership.